Random Thoughts on an Assortment of Topics

I've had lots of things on my mind lately that I've thought about blogging about, but of course I never found or made time for it. So I'm just gonna make this a post about the smorgasborg of topics that have been on my mind, some of them from a little while ago.

Shuttin' It Down
Yeah, the government went and shut itself down for more than two weeks, because compromise and working things out in a mature fashion are apparently for kindergardeners.

Much has already been said about the few fringe crazies trying to hold our government hostage. Too much, probably. The good elected officials need far more recognition than they get and shouldn't have their reputations tarnished by the bad ones. So a shoutout to Chris Van Hollen, Representative from my homestate of MD, is in order.

Gun Control or Why Can't We Regulate Guns Like Cars
On to another fun political topic: gun control. I thought about posting on this after the tragic Navy Yard shooting a month or so ago, but it's probably good that I didn't get around to it right away. There needed to be time for people to process the tragedy before jumping straight into heavily politicized issues, yes. However, these issues come up every time one of these mass shootings happens, and they happen all too frequently. And people never actually get around to dealing with the issues that perhaps could minimize the frequency of the tragedy.

Like better regulating of guns. The problem to me seems to be the all-or-nothing approach people take with the issue, especially those who constantly cite the Second Ammendment. We can regulate guns while still maintaining a Constitutional right to bear them - responsibly.

Sort of like we do with cars. Just in terms of owning a car, there's the registation requirements. And then the licencing requirements and finally the actual rules of operating a vehicle on the roads. Some of these regulations are a pain in the ass (looking at you, PG County school zone cameras), but mostly I accept them uncomplainingly as the cost of operating a potentially dangerous machine. And while of course people break the laws and vehicle accidents do still occur, the laws for the most part do actually reduce injuries and fatalities. I don't understand why we can't take the same approach toward regulating (not banning) an instrument actually designed to maim and kill.


Babies
My cousin had one about a month ago. And you know what, I'm a little jealous of her. Baby Caroline, that is.


Yes, I said it. I'm jealous of babies. Not because they don't do much besides eat and sleep and soil their diapers, but because they don't do much besides eat and sleep and soil their diapers, and they are so appreciated just for existing. Not because of their accomplishments or talents or what they can give, but just because they are. I think that's something that's often forgotten in adult relationships, and it took observing people as they interacted with my cousin's baby to really notice and pin-point it.

We try, yes, to appreciate our adult loved ones for who they are, but so often, at least in my experience, that gets lost in seeing people for what they can give us or what they say about us, or in constant approval seeking and people pleasing in an attempt to get love. Simple, unadulterated love, the kind bestowed so easily upon babies.

Parents and Parenting Methods
Related to the topic of babies is the myriad of "parenting methods" that exist today. I'm not a parent, but I never understood the need to put labels on one's parenting style. It just seems to make it harder to parent in a way that is unique to one's own situation and child's needs, and to contribute to the endless "mommy wars." But between my cousin's new baby and reading a book by a Chinese-American author called Tiger Babies Strike back, it got me thinking about my own upbringing and parental issues that I still face as an adult child.

I love my parents, and on the whole I think I was pretty lucky - I was never abused or neglected. But there were and are still some issues, especially with my mother. She had little moments of Asian-style "tiger mothering," but she tended more toward "helicoptering." And still does. That's right, when something stresses her out, even if it is my issue or my brother's and not hers, she hovers, which takes the form of nagging or over-control.

One example is a couple years ago when she harassed me about doing my taxes after I admitted I had procrastinated on them. It was just like...argh, I know when my taxes are due, and even if I put them off, it doesn't mean I won't make the deadline, and if I do, that is my issue and not my mother's.

The thing is I know where my mother is coming from when she behaves like this, to an extent; it's her way of trying to manage things that goes way back to her own semi-dysfunctional childhood. But it's still extremely frustrating and even as an adult I don't really know how to appropriately tell her when to back of or what's mine to deal with vs. my mother's.

Body Image, Size Acceptance, Diet and Exercise 
And then there's my father. Love him too, but he seems to be becoming more critical of me the older he gets. Which brings me to my next topic. My dad, in a completely well-meaning way, told me recently that I need to "watch my weight, because it will become more of a problem when I get older." Or something along those lines.

Now, I'm a friggin' size six, not near obese. I've been trying to exercise more and to eat healthier lately, but I've never wanted the focus to be on a number on a scale, but on healthy behaviors. 

It just seems that the lines between "fighting obesity" through healthy lifestyle choices and promoting a very narrow ideal body are very fine sometimes. And that it's better to keep the focus on changing behavior to treat your body well than to try to change your body.

So, yeah, I guess I needed to vent about a few things, but enough rambling for now.

Sometimes I Wish I Had Gone Into Teaching

As you may know, I recently officially completed my Master's degree in Communication. I loved the field and and still do, but lately I've been finding myself regretting not becoming a teacher.

I never wanted to go into teaching. In undergrad I double-majored in English and Psychology, purposely trying to keep things as broad as possible. I would always get the "do you want to teach" question and always respond "no." Even back then I pretty much knew that 1) I wanted to do something writing-intensive, in PR, marketing or publishing, since I at least fancy myself a writer and 2) I would go on to graduate school at some point.

I have a lot of teachers in my family, and while most of them love what they do, I had first-hand witness of the underpay and under-appreciation of teachers as well as the frequently resultant burn-out. It was my mom, though, who really influenced my not wanting to teach. She spent several years as a special ed teacher with a classroom full of emotionally disturbed students whose parents would do things like leave them home alone all weekend while they were out getting high and a principal who had no use for the special ed program. Today she works in higher ed, which has its own set of problems. But yeah, I'm sure you can see how this turned me off to teaching.

In 2007 I lost my job as an editor for an educational publisher, and it was then I decided to go back to school. It took me 4 years going part-time and skipping a few semesters. Funny enough, when I was writing and editing educational materials along with people who had actual teaching experience I had less desire to actually be teaching than I do now.

I think seeing all my teacher friends post lesson plans and creative learning tactics on Pinterest might be part of it. Obviously I know that day-day-life  in the classroom is not much like the glossy, shiny little world of Pinterest. But there's something very appealing to me about getting kids to love learning in general and the books, writing and the English language in particular.

Oh, well. I do also love the path I did take, and most people have multiple careers throughout their lifetimes anyway, so it's not like that door is completely closed to me. But darn you, Pinterest, for always reminding me of what I'm missing out on.

Summer's Officially Over...

How did THAT happen?

It seems like the older I get, the faster time seems to pass.

Yesterday was Labor Day, which to America of course means not so much the recognition of labor but more the end. of. summer. It doesn't matter that it is still bloody hot out; schools have already gone back in session and stores are carrying pumpkin everything (which is delicious, don't get me wrong).

It being the official end of summer, I had to get in a beach trip. I'm lucky in that my parents own a house outside Ocean City, Maryland, so I try to get in weekend trips whenever I can. I just feel so much more at peace near the water than anywhere else. Any body of water will do, but there's just something special about the ocean.

My cousin got married about a month ago in. Plymouth, MA. Absolutely gorgeous.

Anyway, I and a friend went to Ocean City on Sunday and then to Rehoboth, DE on the way back on Monday.

It was in Rehoboth that I had the ice cream probably worthy of Food Network's "The Best Thing I Ever Ate."

The Ice Cream Store (yeah, that's their name) has flavors with names like "Crack" and "Better Than Sex," unique flavors like lavender and Mountain Dew, and a few that just sound flat-out disgusting, like Garlic. I had tried some of their more normal flavors in the past and had sampled the bacon, which was honestly nothing special (just some bacon pieces in vanilla).

Their "The Fig's Up," however, was truly yummy stuff. Figs, orange blossom, honey and cinnamon, I think it was.

So yeah, beaches and ice cream. I'll miss you, summer. I love fall, too, just not quite ready for it yet.

Diversity and Other Things I Love About the DC Area; Traffic and Other Things I Hate

All the talk about racial issues in the wake of the Trayvon Martin trial got me thinking about how I've often taken for granted the diversity I've been surrounded with pretty much all my life, forgetting that many, if not most people in America don't really share that experience.

I was born in and am again living in Prince George's County, Maryland, not all that far from Washington, DC. PG County is often stereotyped, but one of the more positive things it's known for is being the wealthiest majority-black county in the nation. I am white, but from a young age I've been surrounded by people of every race, color, and ethnicity. Many of my neighbors and classmates were black, but others were white or Hispanic, with a smaller population of Asians. But I was also surrounded by people of differing economic status, religion, educational level, etc. etc.

It's an experience I forget not everyone in America has. When I went to my cousins' high school graduation in southern Maine, there were only a handful of non-white students in their graduating class. My dad's hometown outside of Buffalo has similar demographics.

Of course racism, of the overt and more subtle varieties, occurs everywhere and everyone is susceptible to it. But exposure to diversity definitely affects your worldview. It's something I most appreciate about growing up where I did, and something I am reminded not to take for granted.

And now I'm gonna tiptoe back away from the topic of race and reflect on more things I love about living in suburban DC, and a few I can't stand.

Stuff I Love:
Along with the racial and socioeconomic diversity goes the access to culture (theater, museums, music) and to diverse cuisine.

FREE Smithsonian museums. Definitely something I take for granted.

Stuff I Hate, or At Least Don't Like So Much:

The traffic. Oh, my goodness, not a day goes by without DC-area traffic driving me near-crazy, and you'd think I would be used to it by now. The DC metro area regularly makes lists of areas with the worst commute, worst congestion, you name it. It's partly the congestion itself, but then that is topped off with drivers who are jerks, incompetent, or both. So yeah. DC traffic sucks.

The crowds. I am not a crowd person.

Just how fast-paced and competitive the whole area (city and suburbs) is. It wears me out sometimes, honestly.

But the good and the bad of where I grew up and still live have shaped me. I think we tend to forget how much environment shapes perspective, and how different a perspective people from other areas have.

Glee and Cory Monteith, Dead at 31

I'm sure most people have heard by now that Cory Monteith, best known for playing Finn on Glee, is dead. As a Glee fan, I'm still somewhat in shock. I had heard a little about his struggles with substance abuse and his going back to rehab, but didn't know the extent of his issues and never expected his life to be cut so short.

I hate to admit it, but when I first heard the news, one of the first things I wondered was how Glee would deal with his character. This is the first time in my memory that a still-running tv show has lost one of its stars, and so it does beg the question. Finn had less screen time after graduating, but he was still a major part of the show, with his on-and-off relationship with Rachel and his return to coach Glee Club at McKinley.

But anyway, reports confirm that Monteith had heroin and alcohol in his system when he died. Reactions have been frustrating but not altogether surprising - a lot of "well, clearly he didn't try hard enough to recover" and "well, he never would have become an addict if he didn't start using in the first place." There's not a lot of compassion or understanding out there surrounding the devastation that is drug addiction.

So I'm kind of hoping that Glee actually ties the reality of the circumstances surrounding Monteith's death into the show somehow. It wouldn't be the first time; one of the things I most admire about the show is how they manage to gracefully incorporate real, often "heavy" issues (bullying, domestic violence, guns) while still maintaining the lighter musical elements.

On the subject of lighter elements, Puck could reprise "Only the Good Die Young" - it would be a tribute fitting of his character.

In fact, they could also work the whole trauma of seeing someone close die young into the episode. I can see Marley singing The Band Perry's "If I Die Young," for instance.

Rachel and Kurt could do a duet of Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven," perhaps for a funeral scene.

If I were a screenwriter, right??

But as hard as it must be for Hollywood to deal with Monteith's death, it's gotta be even harder for his family and friends. May he rest in peace. And maybe something as frivolous as a tv show can help other addicts to seek help before it's too late.

Reflections on the George Zimmerman Case and Verdict

The last trial I remember with as much of a media circus surrounding it was that of Casey Anthony. At the time I just sort of observed the outcry surrounding that verdict with no real strong emotion, thinking that the jury had done their job, taking in all the evidence and, finding nothing that could prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt, acquitting.

With the George Zimmerman case, it's a little different.

Once again, I see no real benefit to a court case being so high-profile. It sucks people in to the emotion, but doesn't actually serve justice.

But.

I did get sucked in enough this time to actually care about the outcome and to be disappointed when the alleged perpetrator was acquitted.

I think it's because of the various social issues surrounding the case: self-defense, gun laws related self defense, and, of course, the big "elephant in the room," racism.

Even if no one could prove that Zimmerman stalked and then shot Trayvon Martin out of racial bias or hatred, the case shows how much racial division and prejudice is still at work in America.

I actually thought that Zimmerman was probably more generally paranoid than overtly racist - his behavior as a neighborhood watchman to me reflected an abnormal fear of crime/criminals and I'm surprised that, as far as I've heard, no one gave him any kind of psychiatric evaluation.

But clearly he had been following Martin because he deemed him a criminal, and the case is a reminder that for many, the image of "criminal" is still "young black male."

And then there's the claims of self-defense. This is what bothers me about the verdict: no one could prove that Zimmerman was acting out of malice, but I think that claiming self-defense sort of falls apart when the person claiming to be defending his or her life was the person  following the unarmed victim in the first place.

Unfortunately, in this case, the law does not agree.

So, while the loss of the life of an unarmed teenager is tragic enough, the Zimmerman case adds a lot of thorny social issues to the picture.

Best of Washington, D.C.: Outdoor Pools and Water Parks - My Article at Yahoo Voices

It's summertime in the city, and if there's one thing Washingtonians know, it's that summers here get hot and humid. But rest assured that the region offers plenty of places to cool off! Whether you swim laps or are just looking for a place to splash around with the kids, here are some of the best outdoor swimming pools and water parks in the Washington, D.C., metropolitan area.

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